Spanish Speaking Woes

i cannot speak spanish. i really cant. it's pathetic. i studied the language for years, i've been abroad numerous times, and i have to communicate with people in spanish everyday...but i cant do it. i just cant. i think im just a bad listener...i can speak fine, and i can read and write....i just cant understand people when they speak to me. this is so frustrating.

and, i know that i do tend to underplay my own ability. but, even so. in the past three days i have had to spend tons of time speaking spanish. the speaking goes fine. i just need to have a much larger vocab. sigh. i went to colombia vive and gave my presentation on asylum. i was well prepared, so i did fine. but then today i had to translate for this woman from venezuela, and i had to do verbatum translation of a document. a ten page document. and i had to ask her to explain how when they shot at her window the bullet bounced off the bars. (i didnt know the word for bars, making this quite a challenge). and i was really tired, and i kept conjugating things wrong...so frustrating.

but, the worst part. the word for fingerprints (which we got today) is huellas. the word for strikes (which she often participated in) is huelgas. way too similar.

sigh, i need to practice.